Rose & Loki - Spooks!AU
“I can’t do this anymore. I won’t…”
“What are you talking about?” Rose asks, but she can feel the panic already rising, nesting itself in her throat, making it hard to breathe. They’ve had it coming for a long time now, but she’s still not ready. How could she possibly be ready to let go of this?
There is a mild smile on his lips. It doesn’t reach his eyes. He knows that she knows.
“This.” he says.
“Us” he says and swallows against the feeling of guilt when she chokes back on a sob. “I can’t go on doing this. Get up, go to work and stand by watching as you get yourself in danger, while there is nothing I can do to protect you. And then what? We get home and try to screw away the fact that we’re scared as hell. And I won’t do it anymore. I will not be standing over your grave next.” He takes a shaky breath. This hurts so much more than he’s thought. “This is what I’m going to do. Tomorrow I will go to your father. Tell him everything. We will both be removed from the service.”
“No!” she has been pacing to and fro in the room, not daring to look at him, but now she’s frozen in place, her eyes are wide and fixed on him. “You can’t do this.” she breathes. “The service is our life, Loki!”
“You are my life!” he answers and registers with a pang how she flinches at the words. “Hate me if you want, I don’t care anymore. I will not bury you.”